very slowly, i’ve been telling a few of my library patrons here and there about our adoption plans.  today i realized what a luxury it is (in some ways) to have an “incognito pregnancy.”  i’ve been out shopping with girlfriends when they’re very visibly pregnant.  e.v.e.r.y.o.n.e. they meet has to say something about it to them.  “Oh, you’re pregnant!  When are you due?  What are you having?  Have you decided on a name yet?  Here’s my unsolicited advice blahblahblah….”  Whereas I can choose to share that information, or not share that information as I choose.  Sometimes I don’t share because maybe I’m tired of talking about it.  Sometimes I don’t share because it’s just too complicated to explain that we’re matched but that she could change her mind or he could come early or etc, etc.  Sometimes I don’t share because it’s just none of their business.  But pregnant people don’t always have that option.

Thinking about that also made me think about C and what it would be like to have everyone asking you all of those nosy questions above.  Does she feel like she has to explain (and defend) her adoption plan to each nosy stranger that asks?  Does she just smile and nod?

Granted, we’ll likely have to deal with other nosy stranger questions for the rest of our lives, “oh, is he yours?”  “where’s he from?”  “who’s his real mom?”  “you know, I knew this one guy who was adopted and he was so messed up.”

Yep.  I think I’ll do my best to savor this last stretch of anonymity.