Entries from January 2014 ↓

no big news to report here other than that I’ve had one or two more text conversations with the expectant mother that we’re matched with and she also sent me a photo, so she feels a little more “real” now.  I’ve also stopped stressing (or at least stepped back the level of stressing) over what I was perceiving as her non-communicativeness.  I feel completely foolish that it took a casual conversation with a colleague of mine who pointed out that I was comparing this experience to our first adoption and the lives of these two women (my son’s birthmother and the woman we’re matched with now) are completely different.  Whereas Mommy C (as she’s affectionately referred to around here) was unemployed and living with her grandmother and likely bored and starved for positive adult attention (and so texted me frequently and at almost any time of the day and sometimes the middle of the night), the woman we are now matched with has a full-time job and is a single parent to two kids.  Um, duh.  She has no TIME to text me!  Still, there are a few details I’d really like to discuss with her, so… I hope she responds to my small “hello?’s” soon.

On the Friday after Christmas, we were on the long drive home from Kentucky and got a call from our Texas agency letting us know that an expectant mother that I’d spoken to for about an hour ten days earlier had chosen us for a match (sort of the equivalent of being engaged–once matched, you’re not open to other relationships, but there’s no guarantee that she won’t ultimately change her mind before saying “i do.”).  We rushed home so we could pick up the fax at the library before they closed (we drove up at 2 minutes til closing), then spent some time reading over the 21-page document that evening and chose to accept the match.  It was my responsibility to contact the expectant mother to share the news of our official match with her, but I didn’t hear back from her for two days.  We had another hour-long conversation when she finally did respond to me and although that felt more encouraging than the silence had, when I got off the phone that night, I realized I still had some pretty big questions after our conversation that I don’t really understand.  For confidentiality purposes, I’m not allowed to discuss any of the specifics here, but suffice it to say that I am only very cautiously excited about this opportunity and I have no idea how it will play out in the end.  I am honestly way more at peace about the ambiguity of the circumstances than I would have ever believed possible, but prayers for discernment would be appreciated.