I called the placement agency today and explained the whole opened envelope, missing application thing and they were happy to fax me the 19 page application.  We’ve been working on it tonight and there are some really difficult questions to answer.  First, there’s the vague and unclear “questions” like for our parents and siblings we have to list name, age, birthplace, and occupation (all fairly easy to answer) and then they each get a small line with the one-word prompt, “Health.”  Um…. good?  she’s got a cold?  fair to middlin’?

Then, we move up the ladder of difficulty to questions about all of our assets and liabilities which are requiring us to dig up account numbers and loan balances from deep in our financial files.  And make really tricky guesstimates (how much would you say that all of your “personal property” is worth?  NOT including house, car, boat or RV (yeah, right)).

Next rung is the questions that are difficult to make a decision about–like a checklist of circumstances that we would or would not be willing to consider (from “obesity in [child’s] biological family” to “Child with [known] terminal illness” and everything in between).

Next rung combines a few of the above categories.  Let’s take difficult decision plus vaguely worded question for “What permanent handicaps or medical problems would you be willing to consider?” followed by about a line and a third of space to write an answer.  seriously?  I mean, how many possible handicaps and medical problems are there in the world?

Or how about  these gems that each come with three lines for your answer to be written on:

“What actual steps have you already undertaken in order to get ready to be good parents?”

“Please describe your marriage and the most difficult challenges or experiences you have had to bear in your lives together and how your relationship has been impacted by such.”

“What are your hopes for the child you adopt and expectations for his/her future?”

Think about it.  How would YOU answer those questions about YOUR life in three lines or less?

Amazingly, after much grumbling, and a surprising amount of laughter, we actually finished all of the paperwork tonight.  Now, we just have to collect photos of our house (inside and out), a floor plan of the house, last year’s tax return, medical insurance policy, a doctor’s letter confirming infertility, and three letters of reference (many thanks to those of your who are writing these for us!) and we’ll be all set.  *whew!*

Because I Loved You by Patricia Dreschler
This is a story of open adoption written by the birthmother.  I have to confess that I skipped through and only read her story (it’s
interspersed with essays about how she recommends that other people in her situation might deal with similar situations) and found it to be a
very touching and encouraging story about how two families related to each other and became closer through their shared relationship with
[their] son.  An interesting insight for one way to approach this situation with a healthy attitude towards all involved parties.

The Adoption Decision by Laura Christianson
While I didn’t find a lot of NEW information in this book, I really enjoyed reading it and related to a lot of the things she says in the
book.  This one is a little newer than some of the other books we  read and I kind of wish we’d found this one sooner.  But, like I said, not
a lot of things I hadn’t read before.  Some of the chapters would be good for families and friends to read if they’d like to get a better
understanding of the process we’re going through.  This book DOES have a strong Christian focus and each chapter ends with a reflection on
how the chapter’s topic relates to faith issues.  If that turns you off, just skip past those sections.