Sometimes I wish I didn’t even have a calendar to mark the slow passage of time until familyhood by.  Life will take its own pace and eventually we’ll get there, by one method or another.  I have to say that this past week, the timelines that I’ve heard quoted by some of the agencies that we’re “shopping” have been very encouraging and i’ve even occasionally gotten that “oh crap!  a baby will really change my lifestyle!  Maybe I don’t want to do this after all….” flash of thoughts that I used to get way back when we first started “not-trying-not-to.”  It doesn’t mean that I want a child any less or that I should reconsider this plan of action, I find it to be a reassuring similarity between the two processes.  At one point, my sister said something to me about how us having to try so hard would mean that we’d be so much more sure of our decision.  And while, yes, we’ve had more time to consider our options than people who get pregnant accidentally or the first time that they try on purpose…. I still have moments of doubt just like they do.  I just maybe have had longer to come up with my own list of reasons that this IS the direction we want to go.  But I’m still treasuring my free time as a childless person.