indignation

Many of our friends and family have expressed frustration for us that we have to endure all of these “hoops.”  i went through a phase of being very indignant that we have to do SO much more than people who give birth to their children, but at this point, I’m actually glad to have some classes to prepare me and I know that all of the hoops we’re jumping are there just to ensure the safety of the children involved in this process (to make sure they don’t get placed in unhealthy situations).  My big concerns about adoption now are the ones that will likely never go away–the emotional pain that a birthmother will go through while making her decision to choose adoption (and whether I’ll always feel a little  guilty that my joy comes from someone else’s pain); any potential “primal loss” my child will feel at not being raised by their biological family; etc.  If I could make those go away by filling out forms or going to classes, I’d fill out a million forms and go to class every week for the rest of my life.  But instead, we’ll just have to learn how to deal honestly with those concerns and do our best to raise an emotionally healthy child.  Hopefully, they’ll cover that in one of these classes.