a post all to itself

part of the struggle of the adoption journey is a loss of control for the adoptive parents.  when i first read about this phenomenon, i shrugged it off thinking, yeah, yeah, loss of control, OBVIOUSLY, plus, when you’re pregnant yourself, it’s just the illusion of control, right?  who cares?  well, this loss of control has manifested itself interestingly in several concrete ways.  And I’ve coped in several interesting and concrete ways.  One of my big coping mechanisms that caused poor j some dismay was a complete obsession over a gliding rocking chair.  i began searching craigslist as early as last august (possibly earlier, but i recently found some e-mail in my archives that proved i’ve been at this at least that long) as soon as i realized that our wonderful, wedding-gift-from-grandparents bentwood Amish rocking chair just wasn’t going to be comfortable for long, late-night feeding sessions.  (twisted branches aren’t so comfy for elbows, who knew?)  i did research.  i shopped at local stores.  i swore not to give any money to the megastore who’s initials are b.r.u.  i dropped my jaw to the floor when i tried out the most amazing chair at a small local furniture store (it looked NOTHING like a rocker, but when you flipped this small secret switch…. hey presto!  smooth gliding action!  and it was so comfortable!!) and then dropped my jaw again when i realized that if we ordered that chair in leather (easy to clean!  cats won’t shred it!) it would cost almost $2K.  ouch.  my thrifty mennonite heritage (and my thrifty mennonite mother) would not allow me to spend such an extravagant amount on just a chair.  so i spent a few months just mourning the impossibility of that chair and also engaging in some sour grapes-ing (although it would recline with a footrest like a regular recliner, it didn’t rock when reclined, which i sort of wanted it to do.)  And i continued to comb craigslist.  then, over Winter Break, I just decided that we needed to just take the plunge and BUY something.  I found a chair on the Chicago craigslist that was really lovely (perhaps too lovely–it was heavily in the Craftsman style) and was $300.  I e-mailed and decided this was the chair for us.  Then, just to check, I looked at the Milwaukee listings and found a chair that was just as good-possibly better for $350.  Less gas money is a good thing, so I contacted that seller to ask a few further questions.  The next day she replied that the chair had already sold.  “well, I thought, I guess that just means that there’s something better out there waiting for me.”  A few hours later, I happened to check the listings again (seriously, i wasn’t THIS obsessive the whole time, just once or twice, right honey?) and I noticed another chair that was the brand we were looking for, seemed to be in good shape, but maybe had a few stains on the cushions (which I had other big plans for no matter what anyway), but it reclined, rocked while it reclined, had padded arms, and pockets on the arms too!  It didn’t have an ottoman, but it was listed at $70.  I e-mailed the seller right away and asked if we could pick it up that evening.  She seemed to think it wasn’t worth us driving all the way to Milwaukee, but I assured her that we didn’t mind.  And so here, after waaaaaay too much searching, is the chair:

I’ve got big plans for making it look a little spiffier, but we’ll see if those plans ever actually materialize.  Also, I still need to find a gliding ottoman.  But maybe I’ll just bite the bullet , do my husband a favor and buy a new one.  Whew!