excerpts from an e-mail

Today, I need prayers for patience. The thing that scares me most about adoption, right now, is the unpredictable, uncontrollable timeline. With IVF, it felt like stepping on stones across a creek. I could focus on just finding the next stone which was just a short step away (now we start this medication, now i go in for this exam, now we do this procedure and wait 10 days for results…) and i felt I would eventually, with these small steps, find my way across. Now, it’s like I’ve run out of stepping stones, and I’ve looked up to see where the next stone is or how far away the shore on the other side of the creek is, and I realize that I’ve been stepping on stones that lead out into the ocean. I have no idea how long this journey will be and I have no sight of the other shore. I only have my faith that there IS another shore, somewhere beyond the horizon. And I need patience to find the next stepping stone that will lead us to the land of parenthood.