today was baby dude’s first day of daycare.  when i was growing up, i always pictured myself as a stay-at-home mom (likely because my own mother stayed at home with us), but now that i’m an adult and have a job that i love, this feels like the right decision for us at  least for now.  in the weeks leading up to this day I worried that it would be difficult for me to leave him at a daycare.  Would the first few days be really tough?  Would I miss him every second and wonder if he was doing okay?

As it turned out, yesterday, I didn’t feel so well–achy all over, sensitive skin, some digestive issues–and then a few hours after I’d passed the baby off to J begging some time to nap and try to recuperate, J started to get the ouchy skin and the general exhaustion that I was feeling too.  Ack!  One of the things I’d been dreading–what do you do when BOTH parents are sick at the same time?  I lay in bed last night fantasizing about asking if anyone at church would like to be our “Emergency Grandma”–willing to come spend the night in rare situations like this and take care of the baby so we could both rest and get better.

And so this morning, when I woke up still feeling pretty puny, but because of huge work obligations not feeling like I could stay home,* I gathered up all of the things I needed to take to the daycare, packed up the baby and some bland food for myself, and headed off to the daycare center.  We’ve met with them several times and I had a casual acquaintance with one of the daycare owners before she opened this center and I feel like their philosophies seem to mesh well with our own, plus they are a Spanish immersion center which is just icing on the cake as far as I’m concerned.  So when I walked in this morning to drop off the baby and was going over instructions and details and suddenly felt so light-headed that I had to lie on the floor for a little bit, I ended up feeling a huge sense of relief that I wasn’t going to be in charge of baby dude’s well-being for a large chunk of today.  I only had to take care of myself and get through three programs at work, but no small helpless being was going to rely on me for taking care of basic needs.  ahhhhhhh…..  bliss.  and it was even more icing on the cake when i got to stop by at lunch and give him a bottle and see that he was completely happy there and when i picked him up, one of the daycare owners referred to him as “mr. mellow” and everyone just said he was the nicest baby and i just know that he was well taken care of, well-entertained and … does it make me a bad mother that I didn’t feel even a twinge of guilt for dropping him off for his first day of daycare?

*the Snake Guy came to the library.  He comes about every 2 years and I think I’ve missed the last two much to my co-workers’ chagrin.  He always draws huge crowds and this year was no exception (I think I counted 289 participants).