…I find that the most helpful responses to me these days are those gentle reminders to either look at things from another perspective or reminders about the similarities between adoption and pregnancy or adoptees and non-adoptees.

…i think that the one big thing i will always regret missing out on is not knowing what it feels like to have someone kicking you from the inside. maybe that’s a weird thing to focus on, but in the same way that before i moved up north, no one could have explained to me what it feels like to have the inside of your nose freeze on really cold days, I feel like no matter how many times someone tells me in words what that sensation feels like, I’ll never really KNOW. (and not just the physical sensation, but also the wonder of there being a whole different person (alien!) growing inside of you).

…It’s funny how almost everyone’s first response when they hear that we’re considering adoption is to tell us about the one friend/family member that they know that has adopted / recently adopted, and offer to get us in contact with saidadoptive parents*. I DO enjoy talking to adoptive parents and hearing their stories, (it helps me to feel more normal) but at some point, we have to move ahead and start writing our own story. I want to know how ours turns out!

*it’s almost as regular as the “I’m pregnant!” “When are you due? / Are you having a boy or a girl? / Are you telling the name?” call and response litany.