![\"\"](\"http:\/\/lh3.ggpht.com\/_ETB_wSU3fUw\/S8dkuiEFbKI\/AAAAAAAAPPA\/q-tG0COsMsQ\/s720\/_IGP8099.jpg\" "\\"ghostie")
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it’s mother’s day eve and i’m filled with mixed emotions.\u00a0 for one thing, today is also known as “birthmother’s day” ( i sent “C” some videos and a text message with a photo to recognize the holiday earlier today.\u00a0 i’m not sure though…. can you say “Happy Birthmother’s Day”?\u00a0 Is it that sort of holiday?) so “C” has been on my mind a lot today.\u00a0 for another thing, the ghosts of mother’s day past have been haunting me for the past few weeks.\u00a0 i still get that same shuddery jolt whenever i run into a large display of flowers or candy or breakfast meat (seriously. this morning at the grocery store, there was a whole section of bacon and sausages and maybe even ham marketed as being ‘perfect for breakfast in bed for mom.’\u00a0 apparently moms like meat on their breakfast trays.) that are being sold under the banner of mother’s day.\u00a0 for the past five years, mother’s day has made me want to hide in a hole.\u00a0 it was the double whammy of not only not having the child i so desperately wanted, and (therefore) also not being celebrated when all of my friends were being lauded for their motherhood.\u00a0 ouchie ouch.\u00a0 and so now, even though i have a beautiful son and i have every right to be celebrated tomorrow (breakfast meats or no), these old habits die hard.\u00a0 this morning on weekend edition they were featuring stories about motherhood.\u00a0 a friend of mine invited me (and other mother friends of ours) to attend a local event where people will read essays about motherhood.\u00a0 those things, for some reason, still make me want to crawl in a hole.\u00a0 old habits and deep wounds die hard, i guess.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
it’s mother’s day eve and i’m filled with mixed emotions.\u00a0 for one thing, today is also known as “birthmother’s day” ( i sent “C” some videos and a text message with a photo to recognize the holiday earlier today.\u00a0 i’m not sure though…. can you say “Happy Birthmother’s Day”?\u00a0 Is it that sort of holiday?) […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-368","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/riftraft.jayandcarissa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/368","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/riftraft.jayandcarissa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/riftraft.jayandcarissa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/riftraft.jayandcarissa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/riftraft.jayandcarissa.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=368"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/riftraft.jayandcarissa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/368\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":369,"href":"http:\/\/riftraft.jayandcarissa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/368\/revisions\/369"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/riftraft.jayandcarissa.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=368"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/riftraft.jayandcarissa.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=368"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/riftraft.jayandcarissa.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=368"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}