very slowly, i’ve been telling a few of my library patrons here and there about our adoption plans.\u00a0 today i realized what a luxury it is (in some ways) to have an “incognito pregnancy.”\u00a0 i’ve been out shopping with girlfriends when they’re very visibly pregnant.\u00a0 e.v.e.r.y.o.n.e. they meet has to say something about it to them.\u00a0 “Oh, you’re pregnant!\u00a0 When are you due?\u00a0 What are you having?\u00a0 Have you decided on a name yet?\u00a0 Here’s my unsolicited advice blahblahblah….”\u00a0 Whereas I can choose to share that information, or not share that information as I choose.\u00a0 Sometimes I don’t share because maybe I’m tired of talking about it.\u00a0 Sometimes I don’t share because it’s just too complicated to explain that we’re matched but that she could change her mind or he could come early or etc, etc.\u00a0 Sometimes I don’t share because it’s just none of their business.\u00a0 But pregnant people don’t always have that option.<\/p>\n
Thinking about that also made me think about C and what it would be like to have everyone asking you all of those nosy questions above.\u00a0 Does she feel like she has to explain (and defend) her adoption plan to each nosy stranger that asks?\u00a0 Does she just smile and nod?<\/p>\n
Granted, we’ll likely have to deal with other nosy stranger questions for the rest of our lives, “oh, is he yours?”\u00a0 “where’s he from?”\u00a0 “who’s his real mom?”\u00a0 “you know, I knew this one guy who was adopted and he was so messed up.”<\/p>\n
Yep.\u00a0 I think I’ll do my best to savor this last stretch of anonymity.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
very slowly, i’ve been telling a few of my library patrons here and there about our adoption plans.\u00a0 today i realized what a luxury it is (in some ways) to have an “incognito pregnancy.”\u00a0 i’ve been out shopping with girlfriends when they’re very visibly pregnant.\u00a0 e.v.e.r.y.o.n.e. they meet has to say something about it to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-279","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/riftraft.jayandcarissa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/279","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/riftraft.jayandcarissa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/riftraft.jayandcarissa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/riftraft.jayandcarissa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/riftraft.jayandcarissa.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=279"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/riftraft.jayandcarissa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/279\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":281,"href":"http:\/\/riftraft.jayandcarissa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/279\/revisions\/281"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/riftraft.jayandcarissa.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=279"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/riftraft.jayandcarissa.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=279"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/riftraft.jayandcarissa.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=279"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}