so here’s another comment that i’ve gotten several times that i’m never really sure what to do with:<\/p>\n
me:\u00a0 we’re adopting!<\/p>\n
friend:\u00a0 oh, that’s so great!\u00a0 there are so many needy children out there.<\/p>\n
hmmm…. sounds like a positive comment, right?\u00a0 so I’m never quite sure how to respond to let the speaker know that we’re not adopting out of some high-minded altruistic motives.\u00a0 We’re not hoping to “save” some child from a dreadful fate.\u00a0 If we were, we’d probably be more actively pursuing special needs adoption or searching for a “waiting child” (the newer, more PC term for older kids in foster care or orphanages).\u00a0 But if I tell my friend those qualifiers, do I look a little less charitable in their eyes?\u00a0 Like maybe we’re too picky and demanding for wanting an infant?<\/p>\n
I also don’t feel comfortable just smiling and not saying anything because I feel that sentiments like these reinforce the stereotypical beliefs that all adopted kids are being rescued from a life of poverty and dire circumstances.\u00a0 That’s just not always true.\u00a0 Sometimes it’s just not the right time in a mother’s life for her to raise a child.\u00a0 Just because we happen to be at a good point in our lives to take on this responsibility doesn’t make us automatically better parents.<\/p>\n
I was reading an online article by Jacquelyn Mitchard today and came across this quote (click on the quote to read the whole article):<\/p>\n